Job 7:6 “My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, And are spent without hope.” That’s how Job felt in his misery. But, as Christians we aren’t supposed to feel that way. But, what if we do?
That’s how a lot of people feel that are also in misery today. Most of our society doesn’t like to listen to those people talk and try to help them. We want them to just get over it and move on.
But sometimes life just has to move at the pace that God is letting it move.
Ask any widow. There are the good days. The hard days. The frustrating days. Lots of lonely days. Lots of confusing days. And, yes, the days that seem hopeless for anything to ever seem normal again in our life.
Sometimes it seems like a weaver’s shuttle weaving threads is like what’s happening in my own life. There seems to be a few threads left on the shuttle, but there sure aren’t as many threads on it as there used to be.
It used to contain mostly bright colors of thread that wove a happy picture for me and everyone else to see. Then, the threads became more fragile and they also seemed to become mostly dark threads.
Some days the threads kind of slip off of the shuttle, but the picture of my life continues to be designed. There are days when the shuttle works on an independent power away from me and all I can do is just watch it.
As time has gone on, very few refills of thread in my favorite colors that I love, have been used. I live with the basic strong, dark colors of faith that have always been on the shuttle. But, God is still weaving my life together.
As the years have slipped by, the amount of threads seem to have sort of slipped away, too.
Threads of hope seem to have been buried that first year as the shuttle wove deeply to bind my life in faith, just to keep it together.
Then the second year, I seemed to try to dig for the threads of hope that I knew were buried down there in the mess of my life, somewhere.
In the third year, I continued to try to cling to the good threads of hope even as I often felt them slipping away independently from me. They had a mind of their own.
I still held a few threads of hope for most of the fourth year. I still believed God was weaving a picture that I couldn’t see. But, I clung to hope that God’s picture would start to be visibly beautiful again to me, even on this earth, someday. Even in the middle of the pandemic’s turmoil and chaos!
This year, I guess I’ve just released all of the threads and let them slip away with the shuttle independently weaving. I believe that God knows what all it should do, and where it should go. I released my grip on the shuttle, I guess.
It has increasingly seemed to be that the colors God uses for my life now may not usually be in my favorite colors. It is hard to not be able to fully appreciate all of the threads. Some of them I don’t’ even really like or want to hold. I didn’t even choose a lot of them.
I have decided it is okay to question God, like Job did. I realize God knows which threads to use in His picture, and He knows where to put them. He, alone, knows when His picture will be complete.
I’m his child, so I can ask Him questions, and tell him that I don’t even like the colors I see. But, after the questions, I just have to let Him hold me with His arms of unconditional love. I know I must trust His choices.
I may never see the big picture that He is weaving until I die and go to heaven. Even up there, I may never know. However, it likely won’t even matter to me!
I still appreciate each of the beautiful colors of thread that He does allow me to hold sometimes. My family continues to give me vibrant, beautiful colors and strong threads of loving hope when I can be with them.
My friends who are also weaving life with the threads of their own widowhood, often offer empathy and compassion the best of all, of course. We share many of the same thoughts and feelings.
While I am very grateful for the strong threads of faith that hold my life together, there is a constant longing for more beautiful life threads that are more pleasant and easier to hold onto.
My formerly strong grasp on the threads of life sometimes seems to be slipping away as the years go on and on. I often wonder how long these years for me will go on and on.
But, I do know that Sovereign God knows and He will work it all out for the good that He wants to happen in my picture. He will make it beautiful in His own time.
