I am so thankful for our three children. Each of them and their families give me so much love. Today I got to talk to each of them and they sent me these beautiful flowers and sweet note. They know their dad and I would be celebrating big! I am so grateful to have them in my life. They miss their wonderful dad being here with us so much, too. Our lives have all changed.
This is the date of our Wedding Anniversary. June 9th has been forever in my mind since 1972. Fifty whole years have now passed since that day.
This would have been our Golden One. The Big One that everybody hopes they’ll get to enjoy! The one that you look forward to celebrating together as a huge milestone of a successful marriage.
Since Mike and I married when we were so young (18 and 19), we really always thought we might even get to enjoy 70 years together! Oh, yes, we had big dreams.
In all likelihood, we would have made it to this Golden One easily, if we would have had the opportunity. We would have probably celebrated in several ways, for several days. As in Mike’s big visual way, and my smaller, intimate way, combined into one big happy time. But, Sovereign God allowed change to come into our lives in a big way.
Anyone who has lost the routine pieces of the puzzle pieces of their life will quickly tell you that it feels very strange, and it hurts. We get used to what’s normal in our lives. When that normal is taken away, we often realize how perfect it really was for us.
Most people dealing with loss know what I mean. Even though we appreciated what we had, we didn’t know how much we really appreciated it until it was gone.
The human mind really cannot adequately prepare us for the emptiness we actually feel when a piece of us is really gone.
I set up this blog in 2019, thinking I might start writing here to share my thoughts now with others. But, I’ve never felt like clicking the launch button to share it because it just didn’t feel quite right, yet.
In fact, there’s been several times I’ve almost deleted the whole blog site, because it seemed like it had become too old and too heavy. I didn’t really want to keep thinking and talking about how changed my life continues to be. I wanted a change of thought.
I wanted to change my thoughts. I wanted to think about life changing for the better, and to offer more hope for the future.
Well, here it is. I am still breathing freely and still enjoying being alive. The sad fact of the matter is that I’ve lost count of all the people I’ve known who lost the privilege of living and they’re no longer here. God has let me live.
So, when I would read some of what I’d written here, I started to think that it was actually a record of where I had been, and how God had stayed by my side the whole time, even in the worst of times. He has always been with me.
During the 2020 pandemic year, I decided I wanted to write a book about the 44 years that Mike and I shared together. While I mainly wrote our story for my family to hold, I knew others might want to read it too. I wanted that love story of our life together to be my first writing to be publicly shared.
So I wrote the book, and it was published at the end of 2021. It has been rewarding to hear from people who have told me they actually took their precious time to read it! That has meant so much to me. I know a lot of it wasn’t easy reading because the story of our life together had some sad times, and then it quickly ended with Mike’s death. But, we were blessed with so many happy times and I hope people remember those, too.
With the book completed, I have come back several times to look over this blog, again. I’ve needed to make a decision whether to keep it and share it, or to just delete it all and let it go.
Well, I’ve finally decided it might help someone else who is out there walking on a similar path. I believe that God knows who may benefit from hearing my story of walking on this path as He leads me.
So, as I finally publicly launch this three year old blog and acknowledge some of my past days, I want you to know that I’m still just daily holding onto my faith in God for the future. I simply hope my words about my faith and trust in Jesus Christ will outshine the darkness of this world that seeks to discourage us all. It’s becoming heavy and pervasive in so many areas of our lives.
In the midst of pain or darkness, whatever your darkness may be, God is faithful and loves you with His everlasting love! I still choose to relinquish the ones I love the most into His constant, loving care. I still believe He securely holds us and knows all about our future.
Sovereign God never changes, even if everything around us in this world changes. His Word never fails and it always remains true.
So, Happy 50th Anniversary to Us! I will always love Mike and miss him. Even though he is in heaven and I’m here, I believe we will be together again someday. I believe God’s promises are true and they’re worth more than gold. They are priceless.